i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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