bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
