Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
