WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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