We're facebook friends in real life
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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