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Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
