I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
