It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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