She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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