Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
