I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
