You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We're using joints as your birthday candles
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have tasted many bathrooms
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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