sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
