It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
