we're blogging at a bar
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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