kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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