another moral hangover. fuck.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
