Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
