dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
