Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Your penis caused this!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
