There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
