No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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