How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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