And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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