He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
