garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
