she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
