check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
