thus making me awesome and them whores
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
