I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
