It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
