Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
