break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
