he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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