Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
