areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't deserve a penis
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
