how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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