I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
