Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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