SEEEEXXX PLEASE
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
