does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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