I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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