Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
