i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
