All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
