Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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