is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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