He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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