I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
