Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
