drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
