I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
