Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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