I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
be right there i have to get my cape
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
