Moan for me like Helen Keller
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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