fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
